If you are one of the three other people who go to Starbuck’s for their iced tea, you will know that they make the best tea on the planet. I am a tea drinker. I grew up on instant, but have since refined my palate, and prefer brewed or sun tea. I accidentally found out that Starbuck’s uses Earl Grey. It has a spicy peppery zing to it, so now I buy Earl Grey to drink at home. I usually mix it with some Lipton to stretch things out a little, because I could go broke drinking iced tea. I can drink around a gallon a day. I pour myself a glass in the morning over ice and it gets progressively weaker as the day goes on. I just keep adding ice, water and some tea from time to time.

I don’t usually drink coffee on purpose. I can count on one hand the cups of coffee I had on the job, as a federal employee. If a person asked I would decline, but not everyone would ask. I worked with the nicest couple for several years. After we got done with business, Helen would plop down a cup in front of me. I had to choke it down because I didn’t want to be impolite. They never even had sugar or that bentonite stuff they pass off as creamer on the table. It would take me forever because it was too hot to drink, and so bitter. I would spend the rest of the day not blinking and trying to catch my breath because my heart was racing.

My morning starts off with a jolt of Coke classic, iced or just luke warm from the garage. I am having a hard time explaining to the kids why they can’t have Coke for breakfast as well. I prefer not to be a hypocrite, and I am tired of trying to keep Leo out of my pop each morning, so I am thinking of switching to coffee, laced liberally with sugar and cream. I bought some half and half. It is in the fridge challenging me to grow up and drink coffee like the rest of the planet. Oh, I can drink some of the foo foo stuff, latte, mocha and so on, but you can’t go around making that at home. Well you probably could, but I am not likely to. It isn’t grownup coffee.

Of course the simple solution would be to drink tea, but it just doesn’t pack the punch I need. I will save tea for the rest of the day.

Pros of drinking coffee.

People don’t look at my breakfast beverage in horror

Better for my bones, especially with all the cream in it

Don’t have to go out to the garage in my socks first thing in the morning

Grandpa Daddy will make extra for me

According to propaganda forwarded by Grandpa Daddy, Coke will eat a nail up in a week and you can use it to clean your car’s battery terminals (he is really thoughtful, has my best interests at heart)

Cons of drinking coffee.

Nothing will wake you like an ice cold slug of carbonated sugary caffeine hitting your tonsils right after tooth brushing. I can actually feel it pumping through my arteries

Coffee breath stinks, sorry, but it does

Probably won’t save me any calories because of the way I drink coffee

I won’t be able to clean my car’s battery terminals


Two days now, and not a single Coke!