What a workout!

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Okay, forgive me if this post is a little weird, I did Zumba at the Y almost three hours ago, and I am still disoriented.  I don’t know if I can do it again.  My friend Madeline has been asking me to go with her for several months.  I said, “sure, sure” but never made it.  She reminded me yesterday, so I went today and surprised her.  I surprised myself. 

Zumba, for those of you who don’t know, is a Machiavellian combination of Latin dance steps a la Jazzercize.  I never attempted Jazzercize because I am really not coordinated.  I am unsure why I thought I could do this.  The class was packed and of course my friend is one of those sickos who have to be in the front row.  She got the corner and I ended up right behind the drill sergeant, I mean instructor. Half-way through I made my friend switch with me so I could have the corner by the water cooler with no cups.  I don’t remember sweating that much.  Ever.  I didn’t sweat that much when I gave birth to my babies.

I hate dancing to rock music because I never know what to do, but I love country swing and two step and all that.  Tell me what to do and I will do it backwards with a smile.  Teach me a dance routine and I will be one and a half beats behind you the whole way.  I can do the feet or I can do the hands, but when they are together I look like…well did you watch the Dancing With the Stars season that had Billy Joe Cyrus?  Yeah, I looked like that but without the fan base to vote for me. I looked like Merle Haggard at a Gloria Estevan concert.  (Please let me know if you got the reference there to the Boodhound Gang.  I need to be reassured that I am not the only one who thinks sicko music is funny.)

By the end of the class over 1/3 of the people had left.  Their friends quit with them instead of finishing the hour like mine did.  We did about five minutes of yoga at the end, and I was familiar with that and managed to look graceful for the first time all evening. The instructor said you should try it three times before you decide you like it or not.  She acted like she was talking to new people in general, but I think I was the only one left.  I might try it again, I know I need to loose some weight.  I hear tell that Monday morning is not as intense as this was, and I think yoga is right after.  I miss yoga.

So to take advantage kid free time, I went grocery shopping afterwards.  Yes, hungry and exhausted.  I bought lots of fruits and vegetables and several things I will be hiding in the cupboards to counteract all the weight I lost tonight.

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Tourist X Moron = Tour-on

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I have been known to forget to pack my brain when I go on vacation.  In April 1998 GD had a business meeting in Nashville.  I had some vacation time coming so I tagged along.  I toured the Jack Daniels distillery and the state capitol while my husband attended his meetings for two days.  After the meetings were over on Thursday the 16th, we walked downtown to check out the places we had seen on CMT, like the White Horse Café, before we took an evening plane home.  It was a cloudy day and kind of spitting rain when the wind came up.  Then the air started to get a little texture, you know grit and dirt, along with more rain.  Next came pink insulation flying through the air.  At this point we ducked into a parking garage to wait out the storm.  People were wandering in looking shell-shocked and a car with elephant butt-prints on its windshield pulled into the garage.  After about ten minutes the wind died down and we walked to the front of the garage.  Insulation was strewn everywhere along with broken glass and chunks of buildings.  The first thing out of my mouth was… “It looks like a tornado went through here!”  “It did,” said GD dryly.  I don’t remember it being loud like a freight train, just really windy.  I think a parking garage is a good place to be.  They are concrete, so they would be pretty safe and you won’t get claustrophobic because you can see out.

 

In my defense:

  1. When we have tornadoes in Nebraska the city sounds a siren to alert us
  2. I went to college in Laramie, WY where it often is windy enough to blow rocks around

 

My next moment came in Georgia.  My step-son graduated from boot camp at Fort Benning in August of 2005 so GD and I took my MIL down to watch the ceremony.  Since we had never been to the area, we decided to take a small vacation.  We only had a little time so we focused on the Columbus/Atlanta/Macon area.  We visited Andersonville and the houses of a couple presidents.  We were on a back road (as all of them are in that area) when noon came around.  My MIL needs to be fed on a regular basis, but we were in the middle of nowhere.  Suddenly we came upon a gas station, also in the middle of nowhere.  I drew the short straw so I went in and asked if there was anywhere around to eat.  The guy behind the counter looked at me like I was an idiot (which I was) and said, “The Whistle Stop Café is just around the corner, you know like in the movie, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café?”  And so it was, as well as a huge billboard in the parking lot of the gas station.  It is a good place to eat, but I still don’t know where it was!

Wildflowersp…cub reporter

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I got to do something really fun today.  Our local newspaper editor asked a friend of mine to write up something about herself for an article about the things people do or some such thing.  She asked me if I could help, and I said I would if she would talk to me about what she wanted in the article.  Shortly after she accepted she found out that they had been chosen by a birth mother for an adoption.  So she was off to Chicago for a week, then home for a week with a new baby and this thing is due Monday.  This afternoon she emailed me some information.  It was great, all I had to do was fill in some blanks and re-arrange it.  It was the funnest two hours I spent today.  Some people make casseroles to help new mothers, I ghost write articles.  This is one of the things she said…

“We just adopted our fourth child, Marcus, in January.  When I held Marcus for the first time, I stood there unable to restrain tears trickling down my cheeks.  I felt so sorry for the mother who gave birth to this baby she’ll never see, and so happy he was mine.  You get this rush of love when you see your child for the first time; adoption is the same as natural birth in this way.  I wanted to pick Marcus up and never put him down.” 

 

She wrote the really good line in there, I just made it into a paragraph.  She spent all afternoon today in the hospital, I guess the baby has some sort of adrenal thing going on now.  He only weighed four pounds when he was born.  I held him today and he was the size and weight of a baby doll, and absolutely adorable.

Author review

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When a high-powered rifle bullet hits living flesh it makes a distinctive-pow-WHOP-sound that is unmistakable even at tremendous distance. 

Open Season

 

On the third day of their honeymoon, infamous environmental activist Stewie Woods and his new bride, Annabel Bellotti, were spiking trees in the forest when a cow exploded and blew them up.  Until then, their marriage had been happy.

Savage Run

 

Before going outside to his pickup for his gun, the Wyoming game warden cooked and ate four and a half pounds of meat.

Out of Range

 

Could you put down a book that opened with any one of these sentences?  Each one makes you wonder… “Where is this going?”  CJ Box is the master of the opening line.  He could teach a seminar on that alone.  I am not going to claim his writing will one day be called literature but he is a wonderful story teller. 

 

Joe, the protagonist, is a very human guy, he does stupid things, (like ticketing the new governor for fishing without a license) he has problems keeping the same pickup truck from book to book, he has to carry weapons for his job, but is reluctant to use them.  He is pretty non-confrontational, yet has a job which requires confrontation. Does this remind you of Stephanie Plum?  I thought so.  He does stick with the one wife, but his boss isn’t a whole lot different than Plum’s.  Joe is kind of the guy version of Stephanie I guess.

 

Box leads you through Wyoming the way only someone who has lived there forever can.  The details are perfect, right down to the King Ropes hat. 

 

He has written one book a year until the last two years, when he managed two books a year.  He is up to ten and counting! This is great news for fast readers like me.  I have been through five so far and I just snagged another off of Paperbackswap.com Whoo Hoo!  They kind of stand alone, you don’t need to read them in order, but it might help a little. I started somewhere in the middle.