Ladies and gentlemen: the blog you have all been waiting for.

 

William Safire started it, and I say the time has come to stop it.  Safire, a former Nixon speechwriter and conservative columnist, started adding the suffix “-gate” to any scandal to remind people of Nixon and Watergate. Frankly I am a little puzzled that I haven’t heard about oil-gate. The first time or two calling a scandal Vietnam-gate or Korea-gate was maybe cute, and of course, WhiteWaterGate had to happen, but why don’t journalists employ a little creativity and next time somebody needs to name a scandal try using Teapot Dome…actually the oil situation would be an incredibly good fit…

 

Why don’t Mr. Milton and Mr. Bradley get together with their cohorts and come up with two or three standard box sizes for games and puzzles?  Getting into my game closet is like opening one of those magic Chinese boxes where you have to slide the pieces around just so to open the box.

 

I am thumbing through my AAA book making reservations for an upcoming vacation.  I want to know if the black diamond motels are like the black diamond ski slopes; designed for the experienced traveler.

 

My SIL complimented Paul on peeing outside (he’s potty training).  She pointed out that a girl just can’t teach a boy how to pee standing up.  Her fiancé said, “yes but she can tell him when he is doing it wrong.”

 

Have you ever been misled by the title of something?  I rented The Constant Gardener last night thinking it might get me into the gardening mood.  I was a little surprised to see a photo of a hand aiming a gun on the DVD itself.  I just assumed the gardener had a no tolerance policy on weeds. It turns out The Constant Gardener is about pharmaceutical companies in Africa; a lot of shooting took place but very little gardening.

 

I think I will set aside a little money in my will; earmarked for the city of San Antonio to use on street signs.

 

Betcha didn’t know Robert E. Lee was married to George Washington’s granddaughter…her maiden name was Custis, and their family estate became Arlington National Cemetery. (a little shout-out to Smithsonian magazine)

 

I have nine used towels hanging in my bathroom. Four people use this bathroom. None of these people do the laundry.

 

Mae is very interested in weddings these days, we have four to attend this year. She looked me in the eye and said… “so if the girl takes the boy’s last name when they are married does this mean the boy takes her (livestock) brand?”  My friend Karla said, “’course he does if it’s a better brand.”

 

Let’s think about the word “flesh” for a moment. This word is not a favorite of mine. The dictionary lists the most used definition of the word as muscle or soft tissue then finally lists skin third, then goes on to cover more about muscles. This leads me to wonder why Crayola called their crayon “flesh” in the first place instead of starting off with “peach.”  

 

All the mailboxes in Wisconsin look like Harry Potter’s Knight Bus just went by; they lean away from the road.

 

I looked up “fart” in my thesaurus thinking to find the scientific word for it but had no luck.

 

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