I had an epiphany last week. Kind of a life-changing epiphany. With as much navel gazing as someone who has been blogging for nine years must have done, you would think I would have come across this by now. I am an introvert. I am also pretty oblivious (obviously).

This came about when I was talking to my boss about something and I told her I didn’t know whether I was an extrovert or an introvert. She said, “You are a green…probably an introvert” which was this color personality thing we did which really explains the people I work with and is much less complicated than the INTEP thing or whatever that was.

Exhibit #1 When I was in my early 20s (circa 1992) I lived outside a town of about 300 people, located 90 miles from any larger town. I had no friends outside of co-workers, although I knew lots of people. I had no TV. I had my day job and I worked evenings as a cook and waitress in the local bar/fine dining establishment/pool hall a couple nights a week. Otherwise I was at my little rental house behind my landlord’s big ranch house. I might have been lonely from time to time, but I was completely content. The librarian had my library card memorized.

I think an extrovert would have either made friends and gone out and partied or gone crazy in that situation.

Exhibit #2 I hate living in town. I go out to my back yard and then I end up talking to my neighbors, all of whom are nice, but maybe I just want privacy outside. I grew up 3 miles from the nearest neighbor and I liked it that way. When I win the lottery, maybe I will install a different fence than my waist high chain-link fence. Maybe not, I like being able to see out. I think of Jean Auel’s “Clan of the Cave Bear” where you don’t look into the other cave inhabitants’ living space as a form of courtesy. People in my alley just don’t get that.

Exhibit #3 I am around people all day, which is fine, I like my co-workers and most of the patrons, but then I come home to all these people I made and they want my attention too. All I want is some alone time. And when the kids are at their dad’s, my boyfriend is hanging around. I probably can fix that some.

Exhibit #4 I hardly have any friends here, and I hardly ever go out or entertain. I joined a service sorority because I knew I needed to make friends. I guess my only friends in my last town were from MOPS which I joined because I knew I needed to make friends. But I am content like this.

Clearly I am not way over on the scale or anything, but there you have it. I am an introvert. Next on my list of books to read is “The Birth Order Book” maybe I will discover I am a first-born!

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