If I were…

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    When I write for Featured Grownup I always write mine before I read everyone else’s. Except for my subscriptions.  I like not knowing what someone else had to say on the topic before I weigh in.  I didn’t really have a choice with this, because I got three subscriptions full of it today, but it sounded like fun.

 

            If I were a month, I would be April

If I were a day of the week, I would be Saturday

If I were a time of the day, 1:00 pm (nap time)

If I were a planet, I would be Mother Earth

If I were a sea animal, I would be a mermaid

If I were a direction, I would be up

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be a big, comfy reading chair

If I were a liquid, I would be a tall glass of iced tea with a lemon slice

If I were a gemstone, I would be an opal

If I were a tree, I would be a Ponderosa Pine

If I were a tool, I would be a spatula

If I were a flower, I would be scarlet globemallow

If I were a kind of weather, I would be a fresh spring day

If I were a musical instrument, I would be an AM radio

If I were a color, I would be icy blue

If I were an emotion, I would be… is exhaustion an emotion?

If I were a fruit, I would be a peach

If I were a sound, I would be a child’s laughter

If I were an element, I would be wind

If I were a car, I would be a Ford F150 pre 1995

If I were a food, I would be guacamole

If I were a place, I would be Mud Lake (far prettier than it sounds)

If I were a material, I would be a quilt

If I were a taste, I would be vanilla bean

If I were a scent, I would be lilac

If I were an animal, I would be a cat lazing in a sunbeam

If I were an object, I would be a big fat book

If I were a body part, I would be an ear

If I were a facial expression, I would be a raised eyebrow

If I were a pair of shoes, I would be my Sketchers bike sandals

Marriage questionnaire

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How long have you been married? 11 years and four kids

Is this your first marriage? yes

Is it how you imagined it would be? nope

What would you change? Not sure the computer has enough memory ha ha ha

Are you married to your soulmate? No, I can’t imagine a soul mate

What do you argue about the most? Inane things

What do you see eye to eye on the most? Our kids

Where did you meet your spouse? He tried to sell me propane. I feel a blog coming…

Where was your first date? Rosebud Casino, a Ronny McDowell (or someone like that) concert

Where were you when you became engaged? Bridge over North Loup River

Did you live together before Marriage? No

What was your wedding song? Who knows? I had the singer pick it because she would be singing it.

Who was in your wedding party? My best friend and my step daughter

Do you get along with the in-laws? As much as anyone does

What’s your view on children? They are a blast

Does your spouse feel the same way? yes

Are you a 2 peas in a pod or opposites attract couple? Opposites

Do you go out without your spouse? Usually

How long are you away from your spouse before you start to miss him/her? 12 hours when I am at home, longer when I am on vacation

Have you ever compared your spouse to someone you have dated in the past? In what way? Nope. No comparison

Do you trust your Spouse? Implicitly

Does your Spouse trust you? He better!

How well do you know your spouse’s favorites? I buy his underwear…

How well does your spouse know your favorites? Plead the Fifth

Do you get along with your spouse’s friends? Yep

Does your spouse get along with your friends? I think so, they overlap quite a bit

Did you go on a honeymoon? San Antonio/Corpus Christi

Do you watch the same TV shows? Yes, because I choose!

Can you agree on Pizza toppings? Yes

Who takes out the trash? Me

Who does laundry? Me

Who is the first one to wake up in the morning? The baby

Do you have any traditions? Not really.

Is there anyone in your spouse’s family that you can’t stand? Nobody he doesn’t care for too

Anyone in your spouse’s family you adore? Several

Do you know your spouse’s passwords/pins? Yep

Does your spouse know your social security number? Probably he has a number thing

Do you ever nag your spouse? Probably

Do you admit wrong doing? From time to time

Does your spouse? Not too often

When is the last time you or your spouse bought each other flowers? Bought or gave? I got several bunches of wildflowers this summer, which are always better than purchased flowers.

potpourri

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Weird.  I have Jane’s Santa gift, an aquarium, right here by the computer, and I’ll be darned if there isn’t a baby fish in it!  The two fish I have aren’t even the same species, so one of them musta been knocked up when she got here.  I hope the little guy doesn’t become somebody’s lunch.  Since he isn’t a trout or a walleye, he is safe from me.  He is a little bigger than an eyelash and is pretty much all eye.  He stays close to the lilypads, smart little guy. 

******EDIT******Saturday afternoon********

No, there are two little fishies!  I really don’t wanna go into the fish breeding business with my five gallon tank.  Seriously, how did they get here?  I am sure my two adult fish can’t reproduce with each other!  What is the gestation period of a fish (or whatever they call it)?  How did the eggs get in the tank in the first place?  Wikipedia kinda let me down on this one.  What animal was it that could reproduce by itself, a lizard of some sort?

Right after Christmas I found a huge amount of mold in a little used closet, on the wall.  Grandpa Daddy was not overly concerned.  Then I found some in the garage wall, and last night I found some on a shoe in our clothes closet.  Then of course in the paper today was an article about mold.  I called the contractor they interviewed and he is coming out Monday to give us an estimate.  Even knowing why would make me feel better.  Monday looks to be expensive, as I have an appointment with the Ford guy to see why our van makes a horrible sound when stopping.  GD says rocks in the brakes, but he is too busy to do anything about it. 

This is a good time of the year for us.  We got invited to the county Ag society dinner Weds night and then a breeder’s appreciation dinner last night.  We had smoked pork loin and a local specialty called Dresbach’s potatoes the first night.  It was exceptional.  Last night was a flatiron steak, and very good as well, but not as good as the pork.  I like anything I don’t have to cook!  Tonight I made some shrimp thing, some Rachel Ray pasta thing and tapioca.  Everything was pretty mediocre, except the tapioca, which was quite good.

Tomorrow I will put in the Looney Tunes DVD from Netflix.  Cartoons have gone so far down hill.  Now, what isn’t funnier than watching a coyote drop an anvil on a roadrunner?  Networks don’t even really run cartoons on Saturdays anymore.  I am gonna have to buy some Looney Tunes DVDs so I can give Netflix theirs back!

Five things that make me feel good.

a clean car

fresh sheets and shaved legs

watching a baby calf get up for the first time

when a little baby curls up and snuggles with you

the scent of a horse

Five things that gross me out.

mold

dealing with raw chicken

nasty dish cloths

the Skoalcicles in my husband’s pickup in the winter

I am tired, maybe just four things gross me out.

  

Four Things Quickly

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Four jobs I have had in my life:


Salad bar queen at Wendy’s, Grad student grunt, (aka new and used grass collector), Chef/waitress/bottlewasher at The Rustic, Mom 

Four places I have lived:

Laramie, WY, Pavillion, WY, Lyman NE, Mullen, NE 


Four places I have been on vacation:


Black Hills, Harlingen TX, Yellowstone, Tennessee

 

Four of my favorite Foods:


Something I didn’t cook, Fresh seafood, Anything Mexican, a good avocado


 Four places I would rather be right now:


Somewhere in the Sandhills, Scubadiving somewhere, Skiing somewhere, In front of a crackling fire with a good book

Questionnaire

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Here are my answers to a questionnaire  I saw posted.  Most of my answers would have been pedestrian, so I edited some.  Ok, a lot.  It also involves some plagiarism, hope you don’t mind…

1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?

I would leap off of the exam table, and bludgeon the Dr. with the knee thumper thing and then grab him by his tie and choke him to death. I would do this in the flimsy tissue paper gowns they give you for what they refer to as privacy, not even stopping to clothe myself. I would then shut myself up in the exam room, turn out the lights and cry.

12. What did the last text message you sent say?

Am I a grandmother?

15. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?

Getting Paul to sleep in his crib or bassinet, rather than in my bed.

35. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?

Both, every day, but not at the same time.


42. What do you like to listen to before you go to bed?
Nothing, I read.


43. What is the last movie you watched?
“Jerry Maguire”. Loved it.


44. What does your iPod have in it right now?
I don’t have an iPod

45. How many close friends do you have?
Not many. One or two

46. Are your nails painted?
No, I usually only polish my toenails and only in the summer.


47. Do you wear a lot of jewelry?
No, I wear my wedding ring everyday. That’s about it.

48. What are you drinking right now?
Water


49. Do you get a full eight hours of sleep a night?
Are you kidding me?? HA!


50. How’s life treating you?
So far so good.

Questions they should have on the questionnaire.

51.  What weird quirk do you have?

I like to clean out my toothpaste lid a couple of times during the lifespan of a tube with a Q-tip. It makes it feel like a new tube again.  Funny, you would think the rest of my house would be clean…

52.  What fictional character would you like to be?

Anne Shirley

 53.  What makes you proud?

I learned to text message, a little.